"We cannot solve our problems
with the same thinking we used
when we created them"
"I hate my life! I am a complete loser! I have zero confidence and self esteem! People mock on me! I feel that I am respected by nobody! I hate pulling myself out of the bed at 6 PM and pull myself to this hated job!"
- Relax , you are in the game, realize it and change the way you play it...
How our life looks like.
Over a long time, I counted a number of metaphors to describe how our life really looks like, with all of patterns and features.This one fits the most:
Suppose there is a worldwide game, which we cannot get out of, each of us have been given a different character and have different strategies. Some players win and get satisfaction, others are a bit less lucky, and some lose again and again. Some small part of losing people have caught on, and changed their strategies, others didn't. As the time flies and game progresses the game becomes so engrossing that people forget that it is a game, changing the strategy becomes difficult and does not work. Winners go on with winning ,losers continue suffering and none of them remembers that this is just a game...They start to believe that the picture which they see on the screen is the world itself. And the picture doesn't change... Until they start doubting it...
The day you start doubting the picture, is the day of the real change.
Until some point in teenage years, I was also not getting the game, and was a bad player. I hated my life that I was living, struggled with depression, anxiety, low self esteem, lack of self confidence... I accepted everything as given. The situation was pretty gruesome, deep inside , you know that you are not living your desired life, meeting the people you do not want to meet, behaving the way you do not want to behave . Feeling the way you do not want to feel... But you can do nothing. And even when you use your willpower to change your life, it doesn't work... The negative feelings of unworthiness and other fears start to attack you and bring you to the same point at which you were. There was something systematic which needed to be changed, but like most of people I was unaware of this and continued to hate my life.
Separation of your SELF from yourself.
In those days, I was very sceptical of psychology and self development materials, despite I never used any of the techniques . At the same time , I had sight problems (short sightedness), I stumbled up on a book which claimed to cure short sightedness by NLP methods and some exercises. Despite being sceptical , I applied some of the techniques and fell asleep .The next day was perhaps one of the most important days in my life... Over the next day I felt somehow different, the anxiety level has dropped and I was experiencing a boost in self confidence. This was the day of big discovery for me. Cause the thing I realised was that, the feelings and emotions we are feeling are not what we are. I realised that , all of the disappointments which have made me to hate my life, were a consequence of a state I was in. The next discoveries and insights which I made were life changing. So listen:
- We are not our feelings or emotions.
- Our deeper belief system which was acquired by the consumption of external information (briefly say brainwashing) determines our behaviour and the quality of our life.
- In short, we are the products of the beliefs which we acquired during our interaction with society. The conclusion we made from the experiences during our life time make up our subconscious system which dictates our life.
So, it means, until we realize that we are not what we experience, we will be thinking that the current life we live in is our life which we deserve, and there is no other life than that. But in reality , it is a life which was imposed on us by the society, by our family, friends etc. We live in a matrix. Mind matrix.
When I realised that , it was the start of a deep shift.
What is our mind ,how it looks like, and is it really you who hates the life.
So , after you realize that you are not what you experience, certaily it is a point when you stop fearing the previously thought "ugly truth about you" . The painful memories, things which we suppress and claim that it did not happen with us, all of these things dive into your subconscious mind, and start to affect our life down from there. It affects our sense of self , our behaviour, adds up our fears, creates lmiting beliefs which cause us to suffer and hate our life. Such memories are actually a dynamic material which stores some amount of our psychologycal energy. Think of it like : "the energy which before was serving us as a self confidence resource, is buried inside of us, and acts with a negative sign". Unexpressed emotions add up and occupy space in our body, creating muscular blockages, which do not let us behave and feel the way we want to behave and feel. These emotions and memories form separate parts, which serve in a different mechanisms, often in a disadvantageous way.
In each situation which we struggle, these parts take control of your core self , and trigger the behavior and emotional state, which is different from how you actually wanted to behave. So, our mind consists of a great number of such "parts" and a basic core self.
So as you see, each part is formed in different period of our life, and after it has formed it stuck there, and acts according to that age. Each part carries certain beliefs and thoughts. And if the unpleasant beliefs and thoughts dominate, you start to live inside of this internal hell. But there is a way out of this.
Reprogramming our mind for a better life.
So, as you understood, we have a core self, and different parts, with the help of our core self we can reprogram the parts so that they will turn into the resources which will serve us (confidence etc). After reprogramming our subconscious parts, we become free of our outdated feelings and behaviour and develop new beliefs about our life. The limits of yesterday disappear and we can step up to a new life, with better self esteem and self confidence. By using the best self therapy tools on this website , you will be able to stop saying " I hate my life ", change your life and become whoever you want to be.